We are trucking on with mostly good days and a spattering of bad days, we only had to call daddy home from work once. It is hard to know what is causing the bad days, they are both a result and the cause of bad sleep. An over tired baby is a sure recipe for a grieving baby. Although many things about her meltdowns are the same, one big thing is diffrent most of the time she will cling to me when she is sad where as in the begining she was fighting me off. I guess it is like an adult where you move from denial to anger then sadness, I think we are leaving the anger stage with her more and more it seems to be just a deep sorrow. There are still moments where she would rather not be snuggled, but they are becoming less and less. I think we can say that she is offically reached anxious attachment to me as well at this point.
I thought now would be a good time for a little disclaimer. This blog is written with the adoptive parent as the main audience. I guess I don't take the time to explain what these terms are that I use when we describe our families progress, mainly because I assume you all read the same books I did and you know where we are at. In case this is your first fore into the world of international adoption let me just say that in the over all picture when you step out the the moment every single thing we are experiencing is completely normal. I guess along the way I forgot to let the readers know that, and also to let them know that we were prepared for this and we also immediately recognized Elora's journey to us for what it is, grieving, normal 18 month old grieving. When I say we were prepared also we did our very best but one can never really be prepared to see your child in so much pain and the complete feelings of helplessness that come with this type of pain. I will also say that although things we have been through the past few weeks have been hard, they are by no means the hardest thing I have ever done, it does rank in the top ten, but waiting for her was a thousand times harder. If some poor misinformed person told you that adoption was the easy way to have a baby then they were very, very wrong, but I would say that that caring, birthing and rearing a newborn is a similar level of hard although completely different. The frankness you read here is not for sympathy for us or her but simply to pay it forward and tell it how it is for those who are travelling along behind me. I would not have been ready for this with out those in front of me. We love our girl to the moon and back and she is an amazing, brave, joyful girl who we are in love with. Its just that I only get about one half hour a week for this blog and I thought I would focus on the educational stuff for the moms in waiting and not the prose and praise for my adorable family. There are a million other blogs about cute families, and although we are a very cute family, that's just not what this blog is about.
A blog to chronicle our China adoption journey.
About Me

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Sylvia Eng
Hi I am Sylvia!
I was inspired to learn the art photography when I adopted my second child. She has albinism and is very photo-phobic. My point and shoot flash was hurting her eyes and I was missing out on precious memories because I needed specialized skills and equipment to capture her in photos. Because of her my style has developed to photograph completely flash free. My children were my inspiration to learn this craft so I named my business after them (Squeaker and Yoyo are their nicknames).
Although this is a newer artistic medium for me, I have studied visual arts my whole life and graduated with a degree in digital media. Before that I was a fashion model, so images and photography have always been a passion of mine.
I know what it is like to be on both sides of the lens. My goal as your photographer is to use my experience as a model to coach you though the shoot to ensure you look your very best. I consider the style I provide to be an art form, taking your image and adding a touch of digital magic. Sprinkling your images with creativity, imagination and just a tiny bit of faerie dust. The result is always a relaxed and beautiful experience.
I photograph in the greater Toronto area, including Mississauga, Brampton, Milton, Oakville, Orangeville, Acton, Georgetown and Caledon. I look forward to working with you. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

Our Adoption Timeline
June 20th 2010 - Children's Bridge offers us a spot on 2010 quota. We accept. Paper chase begins.
August 18th 2010 - Submit more medical forms to contest the requirement for "medically infertile", wait for pre-approval.
September 3rd 2010 - pre-approval denied, journey with Thailand ends
Change Agencies, sign up with FOI
Edit and complete homestudy for China Waiting Child program
January 6th 2011 Submit homestudy to Ontario for approval
February 18th 2011 - Ontario approval
March 8th 2011 - China Dossier to FOI
March 28th 2011 - Dossier to China (DTC Baby!!!)
April 14th 2011 - Log In Date (LID = Approved by China)
November 28th 2011 - Match Day
November 30th 2011 - LOI + waiver from Ontario (LOI = Letter of Intent)
December 5th 2011 - Pre Approval from China for QingYou
December 24th 2011- LOA (LSC)
March 1st 2012 - Depart for China
March 5th 2012 - TA
March 5th 2012 - Forever Family Day
March 15th 2012 - Home!

Blog Archive
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2012
(68)
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March
(17)
- We are trucking on with mostly good days and a ...
- Update
- Thank you !!!
- Over all positive
- Packing list and tips
- Home sweet home
- Love, Chaos, and Dinner
- Updates From Beijing
- Settled in Beijing
- Pictures of Elora!
- Next Stop Beijing
- Better Day
- The Honeymoon is Over
- Meeting Yoyo: NOW WITH NEW PICTURES!!!!
- Pictures of West Lake, Hangzhou
- Hangzhou day 1
- We've Arrived!
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March
(17)
Favorite Links
My Blog List
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Still here8 years ago
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There’s hope.. there is always hope9 years ago
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Korean Film Festival9 years ago
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Possible way to descirbe ADD with Anxiety10 years ago
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4 comments:
Thanks Sylvia the truth needs to be told and heard! It is not an easy task taking on the role of the teacher but it is needed. Thankfully those that went before me also shared the truth so that i was prepared as best as possible and even then as you said you can never fully have an understanding until you have experienced it.
it is tough and it can be harsh,ugly, exhausting and brutal.
During the storm you will get moments of sunshine and you get to glimpse how things will be and your faith in the process is restored.
Thank you again for your honesty.
On another note I have to say Oh MY Elora is adorable. I know you must be having fun also and enjoying your little girl she is so darn cute!
I love the pic of her looking in the mirror, glad to hear that days are getting better :)
Thanks for sharing the complete honest truth. It does help those of us still waiting. I truly appreciate you sharing :)
Elora is just lovely !
Laura
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