4:56 PM

Thank you !!!

Thanks Mamas!!! You and your advice is exactly what I needed. That link about holding is really ringing true with me. I was hesitant to be honest about all the hard parts but I am so glad I was because I have been rewarded with your amazing wisdom, THANK YOU!!! and keep it coming.

1 comments:

Catherine said...

Oh Sylvia, I'm so thankful the comments were helpful. I didn't want to overstep and yet remember being thankful for people who had shared some of what I had, sharing their resources and experiences!

In linking to the 'holding' post yesterday I took time to re-read it myself. It was a great reminder. My DD just turned 3 and has been home a little over 2 years now. Last night I pulled out our Baby Hawk carrier and we went for a beautiful, long walk. It was physically hard as she's almost 32lbs. but emotionally, it was wonderful!! We talked, pointed to birds, sang and at times I would feel her delicate little fingers rubbing my arm and touching my face. At one point she even said, 'You're doing a great job mommy! I'm so proud of you!' :o) Yes, holding time is still beneficial even after all this time. She asked if we could do it again soon and I reassured her that we would. People may look at me like I'm crazy carrying my 3yo around but you know what, it's not about them...it's about my daughter!! Even family does not always understand but that's okay. I do it for Hannah!

A couple of other resources that you may find helpful are:

http://www.a4everfamily.org/

and,

http://chinaadopttalk.com/category/attachment/

I know one of Rumor Queen's daughter faced the same head banging challenges that Elora does so I'm sure there is some info in there.

Other things we did to foster attachment (and still do many of them) are:
- co-sleeping
- co-bathing
- holding and carrying for hours a day (more at first, less carrying now)
- no one else was able to hold my DD for the first 3 months with the exception of her grandparents and rare moments about 2 months in on the laps of very close friends but that was only for minutes. Many people didn't understand (especially the older generation) but I stuck to my guns and am so thankful I did as my daughter is very well attached.
- fed her by hand
- bottle time. She still has a nightly bottle and this is a treasured time for both of us. I am the one to hold the bottle for her, reaffirming that Mommy will always take care of her.
- very limited TV for the first year

I hope this is helpful. Praying for you as you work on the long process of attachment. It is a long, challenging road but you're doing the very best thing in working on it now. Things that can be 'fixed' in months now can take years and years later. You're a wise and great mom to be seeking out help now!

Catherine, a fellow Ontario Mom