5:06 PM

Only 16 days till travel!

So travel is now in a category that I would actually call "soon". We leave on March 1st and we will take custody some time between the 3rd and 5th. One thing that is different then I thought it would be is that time is not flying by and even though the end is near, each day still drags and I think 16 days is still way too many. I am nearly ready to go, although the bags are not packed the lists are made and every thing is bought. I have started painting the nursery and the clothes are all hung in the closet. My baby shower is at the end of the month, and we have just jammed every spare minute with things to do, both chores and fun. I planned this mad rush with the intention of making this last month fly by. I would say it is only barely walking.
I do think a lot about leaving squeaker at home and how much I am going to miss him. I am trying to prepare him for our absence, but I am not sure how much I can. We have never been apart more than a couple of days, so he can not even comprehend what 2 weeks could mean.
I am also fantasizing about meeting baby girl. I know this is dangerous to some degree because I KNOW this is not going to be a fantasy for any one. Every time I catch my self daydreaming I try to shake my self out of it by imaging the exact opposite. So now my greatest hope is that she will let one of her parents hold her. She can cry or bite or kick or what ever as long as we can hold her while she does it. I know even this is a tall order. But that is my new day dream, I am holding her all googly eyed and she is screaming like a banshee.

I may have mentioned that I had this little niggling feeling that I have a brown eyed girl waiting out there for me some where. My husband thinks this is our last child, but I have been seeing some things that let me know that his tough exterior is not as finite as he wants me to believe. He stopped me from giving away our jolly jumper and bouncy seat! AHHH Ha!
So that leads me back to my brown eyed girl... you see I only ever really needed one daughter, I would welcome a swarm of them, but one is just perfect too. I have decided a few things, firstly I would never adopt internationally from any where but China, and domestic foster care is also an option. Here is the thing though, with the way China stands now, if we got back in line again and only changed our gender preference, if we opened up to boys I think we could adopt an infinite amount of times and still only get blonde boys. That is exciting, that the wait could be really short next time. At this moment I think there are 3 boys with albinism who are waiting that we would qualify for. Unfortunately they seem to always be on the list waiting several months even though they are very young, and cute as can be! So why did I think that there was a brown eyed girl in my future? Better yet why could I not shake the vision of her??? I love my family of blondies, and I love the idea of a bunch of blonde boys too, so why the nagging feeling?
Well I finally get it. My husband reminded me that our grandkids would most likely be dark haired since albinism is recessive. You may remember that my mom had a very clear vision of her granddaughter, insisting that she would have white hair and chubby with big round cheeks. Now I get it, I am invisioning Elora's daughter, my granddaughter!!! Our family is only clairvoyant when it comes to grand kids.


Bonnie, Jim and Ainsley said...

I love your post. Hoping the days speed by and you are on your way soon.