1:38 PM

Adoption Etiquette 101:

Hi friends read and reference this post to learn more about the PC ways to discuss adoption. A lot has changed in the past decade, adoption is no longer taboo but it’s still a long way from being sensitive to the children and families involved. We know you never intend to offend, but here are some handy tips to help you. Thanks!
1. I, just like many of you, look at my daughter's beautiful face and I am filled with wonder, awe and cosmic flutters. She is just so perfect, it seems as though she was always meant to be ours. It is important to remember however that when an adopted child hears that this was meant to be they can interpret those words to mean that their loss and hardships were deserved. That being with out parents all these months was meant to be for her, not for every other child she knows, but for her. She may wonder if she was being punished by the fates. Instead we say "How magical is it that our adoption agency selected such a perfect match for us." Bob at our agency is 100% responsible for not only selecting this child for us, but he also played a critical role in getting Ontario to approve this match. He is renowned for the amazing matches made for countless families, he really deserves all the credit :)
2. Birth parents AKA first parents are not a dirty word in our house. They are not a secret, or evil, or bad, or heartless. They are cherished and honoured members of our family, even though we do not know who they are.

3.
You may have never heard the word Albinism before, let alone used it in a sentence. No worries, we had not either! The most important thing is that we do not want Elora to be defined by her special need. We say Elora has Albinism rather than Elora is Albino. Just like it is more polite to say my friend has Cancer rather than my friend is Cancerous, the same applies to Elora and her medical need. When people are still confused, I will also let them know she has a medical condition that causes a complete lack of pigmentation. We have also had curious folk ask if she will have red eyes like a bunny that lacks pigment. Go take a look at her new photos to see her beautiful steely blue eyes. P.S. Humans with Albinism never have red eyes though some do have violet.

4.
The topic of luck. Elora is not lucky because there is nothing lucky about losing your first family, country, language and culture. However you can say “It is so lucky you found each other” or “We are all lucky to live in Canada, where health care is free and does not determine your ability to care for your child” or “Damn Sylvia and Jeremy are so lucky they have the most awesome/cute/well mannered kids!”

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