4:35 PM

Affording your adoption 101

Yes, international adoption is expensive. Most adoptive parents find creative ways to save up for their adoption(s). As a family we are doing many things but one of them is tightening our purse strings. Just one little problem. I am an admitted shopaholic. This is an addiction that is mostly in check but does flare up when I am stressed out. The problem is that not only is adoption expensive but it is also stressful! Today my friends I am here to tell you about how we are surviving the wait with style!

I love shopping, almost as much as I love my family. I also love me and the kiddos to look fashionable and it gives me great joy to dress us up, just so, with the must haves of the season. I have always been a thrifty shopper, I deal in volumes you would not believe, so bargains have always been a must. But what was this fashionista to do when even the steals on the steal or splurge page would cost you your whole year's clothing allowance? I just got thriftier, and now I am going to show you how you can do it too.

I have taken photos two outfits I wore to work this week and with help from my co-worker Sasha, who by the way was also the inspiration for this blog post. Both of these looks cost less than $50 including tax and accessories!!!

First up we have the the bow blouse inspired by mad men (or as I call it, Granny goes sexy)
The fashion pages look by Alice Olivia $220.00 (for ONLY the blouse!!)

Now my look

Shirt from Talize $3.99 This store rocks, for so many reasons, the profits support local charity, it is a great way to recycle and the prices can not be beat. I know, for many fashionistas shopping second hand has a certain insurmountable ick factor. If the prices can't get you over that check your washing machine for a sanitize feature. I take all of my purchases directly from the shopping bag to the washing machine and sanitize the bageezus out of them until there is not a whiff of that odd mothball smell left. I personally like to brag that I only payed 1/4 the amount you did to look twice as great, but if you are more demure, when every one heaps the compliments on you, simply tell them it's a one of a kind vintage find. Yep, vintage is celeb speak for second hand. To duplicate this look find a second hand store that has a high population of seniors, because this shirt was actually made in the original decade that the designers are now "inspired" by and some woman has been wearing it since it was the height of fashion. Now it is yours to snag. Be sure to wear it with other items that are modern and a tad vampy to ensure that you don't go too far the other way. The key is a touch of granny, for yesteryear elegance, go to far and you risk dorky librarian or frump.
Pants from Giant Tiger $10 last spring on clearance. Always shop in the clearance rack for the following year. Only suckers pay full price.
Shoes from Forever 21 $12 a few seasons ago. The lesson here is that dramatic shoes can make a plain outfit pop. You can never have too many shoes. Never. Especially if they are less then $20 a pop. Always be hunting for amazing shoe finds, always.
Grand TOTAL THIS LOOK: $26.00 Head to toe. Now that is a steal!

Second look is some times called the equestrian look.

This is from the JC Penny catalogue, unknown price.

Now my look

Sweater from Talize again $3.99. One more thing I would like to mention is that if you love high quality craftsmanship and detailing then "vintage" is the solution for your tiny budget.
Pants are Alfred Sung, Alfred Sung for Zellers that is. :) A few weeks ago they had the fall pants on sale for half off so I got two pairs of these beauties for $14.99 each. Another tip, if you like it and it flatters you buy it in as many colours as you can afford.
Shoes are from Joe Fresh, for 29.00, best part is NO TAX since they came from the CHILDREN'S DEPARTMENT!!!! I wear a size 7 ladies and that translates into a size 5 in Joe's girls department. I know the math is screwy but a size 8.5 womens can wear the girl's size 6 at Joe (sorry that's as big as they come). The moral of the story is be creative look in unexpected places.
Grand TOTAL THIS LOOK: $47.00 head to toe

I hope this will provide you with some inspiration in your wardrobe and budget. Remember to embrace your inner MILF and flaunt it!

Public Service Announcement:
Yes adoption is expensive but I would like to take this moment to remind you that it is the fees associated with transferring guardianship of a child and travel for 3 to the other side of the world that adoptive parents "buy". We never "bought" our children, because that would be human trafficking and illegal. So please don't ask "how much she cost" or where you can "get one of those".
This announcement has been brought to you by annoyed adoptive parents of the world in association with the educate the public with no self filters foundation. AAPotW, EtPWNSFF.

4:17 PM

Another Matchless month

Wow this was the hardest month yet. It is like a slow sinking realization that just gets more and more sad with each passing hour, you are less able to muster any hope with the ticking of the clock.
This was really disappointing, tomorrow is my husbands birthday and I was so sure we were going to have a cute story to tell about how we got a daughter for his birthday.
So we have waited 3 months now at the top of our agencies list, and we have waited 166 days since we were approved by China.
I am trying to look on the bright side more here are some good reasons to wait some more. (Ha, as if I had a choice)
1. We have more months to save up for the fees.
2. I may actually be able to time this so that I will only have one child in day care at once
3. Travelling in March is way better then travelling in January, less snowsuits to pack
4. Will have time to celebrate the birth of my twin god-babies in January with out worrying about missing the birth
5. ummm waiting sucks
6. this list is pathetic attempt to self sooth
7. wine and chocolate work moderately better
8. singing love sick songs at the top of my lungs in the car helped too

4:14 PM

My Match Plan

So when you are in your second trimester you get asked by everyone around you what your birth plan is. Are you going to do a water birth, are you going to film it, who do you want around you, what music will play? That and so many more questions get you thinking about what exactly you want that moment to be like and what tools you are going to use to help you survive it.
When Squeaker was born I had the best birth plan and it was executed like a perfect symphony. It took major temper tantrums on my part but I actually got to have the perfectly controlled birth I always wanted (scheduled section), including an ipod play list for the occasion.
So I have been thinking what would make my match moment perfect, how do I want it to play out? I am just thinking that getting "the call" at work maybe nearly as embarrassing as having my water break in the board room. I think I am going to be a blubbering mess with a pinch of a chicken sans head, not pretty. I know some of you have the amazing restraint and calmness to only look at your referral together as a family while you are filming the moment for your future blog post. I bow down to you! I am not sure if I am even going to be able to wait to be with my husband. So here is how I see it going down...
My Match Plan
The call comes to my phone, I am at work
1. Run screaming to the empty cubicle while on cellphone
2. Call the hubby on the landline, chances that hubby will actually answer his phone 50/50, if not available repeat call but proceed to step 3.
3. Log into email
4. Hope hubby got email too, no way I can forward it with out looking
5. SEE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Blubber
7. Ask to leave work. Try to keep blubber to a minimum until I get home.
8. Try not to call every one in the world and post photo every where until doctor evaluation.
9. Email Dr.
10. Wait.
11. Wait.
12. Okay, tell a few people.
13. Wait.
14. Okay, just tell one more person...
15. Hubby better have called me back by now, if not, drive to his work and hunt him down.
16. Write LOI
17. Pick Squeaker up from Daycare (oops)
18. Tell the world, she's coming home!!

What was your match plan? Did it go like you expected?
I know I am crazy to think I can plan any of this. Just shush you, I need to plan, I need to control, even if none of it comes to any thing. Do you really think I can just sit here and wait?! Please let it be this month, oh please oh please oh please.

You know I have read time and time again that parents say, of course it could not have been any earlier, now that we have our precious child we know, it could not have been any earlier because this was the only child for us and she was only ready when we got her. I am so torn when I think of this, and the whole matching process. What a beautiful complicated mystery. That is my baby and she will come to be mine by 95% luck of the draw, 5% judgment of my agency director. I have more control over so many more insignificant things, but this this massively important life altering step is pretty much a lottery. You would never choose a husband this way, and yet this is how I will get a life partner (of sorts). I guess it is similar to birth, but you just have this false veil that leads you to believe that you know the child that is coming, and you never ask these questions to your self. You can never wonder what if because it just is. Mostly for my match day I just hope that I see her and know. I just want to know that is her. My girl. And that is so silly because I warn every expecting mom that the movie moment may not be what you get in the delivery room. You may look at your bundle of joy and think any number of strange things. For example I thought, okay, sure I will take that one, really I will take any one at this point, I just want to go home with a baby. I did not know Squeaker at all, did not feel like he was even mine. But for some reason, even with all my been there done that wisdom, I still just really hope I see her and know. And I am scared of what might happen if I feel doubt, even though I think that must only be natural.
So thinking more on the luck. That part is unchangeable that means that my agency is EVERYTHING when it comes to choosing our girl. What an incredibly stressful and beautiful job that must be to bring families and babies together. I feel like I will owe him so much on like a karmic level. But in the end will it come down to any thing more then luck? My mind wanders the philosophical mazes of this process over and over again. Bringing to light what my beliefs are and what impact my romanticism of the process means for my daughters story and how she will interpret it.
So much to think about.
Day dreaming fiercely.

5:43 PM


Well no match for us in August. Despite the dreams and the horoscopes that fooled me into thinking it would.
So NOOOOWww I am sure it is this month. I am ready. Bring it September!