10:18 PM

Let it be August

I love summer, and typically I am begging it to slow down. While I have not gone so far as to rush summer this year, each month that passes brings me closer to peace.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Found this quote today while I was watching Gotcha Days on YouTube (again). Yes it was that kind of day, the type where I need to drown in everything adoption and just spend a solid day just thinking of my girl and feeling the emotions. I have never forgotten Elora, hardly an hour goes by with out some fleeting thought. But it has been a long time since I let myself just be immersed. And it helped, for right now. Because I am at more peace with the wait today because of it. When I was pregnant I could watch baby story marathons day after day, this is just part of my nesting process.

I think August may be our month. I only just said this out loud for the first time today. I have nothing to base this on, except that ever since August 1st I dream of her every night. Nothing that I remember, but it is like when I wake up I am still light as a feather, floating on the feeling of loving her. It is like we just spend each night together. I feel her, but not like I was feeling her back in April. Back then it was scary and desperate. Now it just feels like we are getting to know each other in a dream world. The strangest of all is that it happens each night, all night. It is peace, and the only reason I can think for why peace has come over me now, in the final stretch is that the light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible.

I want to be one of those more interesting mom bloggers. Because I do have some really fun and unique views on all things parenting. Like the genderless baby in particular. Imagine if some one tried to pull that stunt in China, I think I would see it as such a powerful statement rather then a hippy stunt... I have mush more to say... but alas, all of that will have to wait for another day. Right now I am getting zen and nesting. I got no snap in me. But some day, on the other side of this, I can't wait to have my own soap box to chime in on all these great conversations.


Anonymous said...

Hi Sylvia,
I am currently waiting for my LID and on the list for a girl as well. My PA is less than 4 months from yours so I will be watching your blog carefully to see when you get your referral. It will certainly give me a better idea of my own wait I think although we both know it doesn't necessarily work that way. Would love to chat with you some more privately if you are interested. Are you a member of the FOI yahoo group? It's a great group and you should join if you haven't already. Look up FOIfamilies on yahoo groups. If you are interested in keeping in touch and you are on facebook look me up.

Amy Fraser-MacDougall (on facebook) or you can find me anytime on the FOIfamilies yahoo group as well.