A little gift from me to you, the gift of time.
I recently accumulated every bit of information I could about as many special needs that I could find and compiled it together for my husband and I to use as a discussion starter. The thing I love most about it is that I have included testimonials from adoptive parents. This was vital to me because there is a big difference between the text book definition and living with it. It is also very difficult to access professionals who understand what the need looks like when it has been untreated, since most of these needs get immediate treatment in the west. That makes the parents who have adopted before me genius medical gods, in my humble opinion.
I was never the best student so this document I have compiled has no good research qualities. I did not quote my sources or create a reference list. Sorry folks this is a humble (busy) mom blog, not a Harvard paper. So this is pretty much a work of pure 100% plagiarism, but the best thing about it is that at least all the info is in one place, saving you time! Thank you so much to the countless and nameless contributors to this document of mine, you rock! So now I am going to pay it forward. Click hereSpecial Needs Reserch to download the very large document.
A blog to chronicle our China adoption journey.
About Me

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Sylvia Eng
Hi I am Sylvia!
I was inspired to learn the art photography when I adopted my second child. She has albinism and is very photo-phobic. My point and shoot flash was hurting her eyes and I was missing out on precious memories because I needed specialized skills and equipment to capture her in photos. Because of her my style has developed to photograph completely flash free. My children were my inspiration to learn this craft so I named my business after them (Squeaker and Yoyo are their nicknames).
Although this is a newer artistic medium for me, I have studied visual arts my whole life and graduated with a degree in digital media. Before that I was a fashion model, so images and photography have always been a passion of mine.
I know what it is like to be on both sides of the lens. My goal as your photographer is to use my experience as a model to coach you though the shoot to ensure you look your very best. I consider the style I provide to be an art form, taking your image and adding a touch of digital magic. Sprinkling your images with creativity, imagination and just a tiny bit of faerie dust. The result is always a relaxed and beautiful experience.
I photograph in the greater Toronto area, including Mississauga, Brampton, Milton, Oakville, Orangeville, Acton, Georgetown and Caledon. I look forward to working with you. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

Our Adoption Timeline
June 20th 2010 - Children's Bridge offers us a spot on 2010 quota. We accept. Paper chase begins.
August 18th 2010 - Submit more medical forms to contest the requirement for "medically infertile", wait for pre-approval.
September 3rd 2010 - pre-approval denied, journey with Thailand ends
Change Agencies, sign up with FOI
Edit and complete homestudy for China Waiting Child program
January 6th 2011 Submit homestudy to Ontario for approval
February 18th 2011 - Ontario approval
March 8th 2011 - China Dossier to FOI
March 28th 2011 - Dossier to China (DTC Baby!!!)
April 14th 2011 - Log In Date (LID = Approved by China)
November 28th 2011 - Match Day
November 30th 2011 - LOI + waiver from Ontario (LOI = Letter of Intent)
December 5th 2011 - Pre Approval from China for QingYou
December 24th 2011- LOA (LSC)
March 1st 2012 - Depart for China
March 5th 2012 - TA
March 5th 2012 - Forever Family Day
March 15th 2012 - Home!

Favorite Links
My Blog List
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Still here8 years ago
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There’s hope.. there is always hope9 years ago
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Korean Film Festival9 years ago
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Possible way to descirbe ADD with Anxiety10 years ago
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The wait has been weighing heavily on me recently. Around the time we got our LID we also got word from our agency not to expect (not to even a hope) a referral before September, and sounds like more likely we will get a referral in time for Christmas. I guess at some point I had this very realistic time line in my head, but then I began the what ifs. You see technically now that we are LID we could have a referral at any time by China’s rules, but Ontario’s 18 month separation between children is what is keeping that precious call from coming. Elora needs to be born in 2011, so the youngest she could be right now is 5 months old, and 5 month olds don’t show up in the special needs line. They do sometimes show up in the non special needs line, and that is what led to the beginning of the what ifs and the day dreams and then somehow along the way my mind forgot how unlikely this scenario was, and my mind let its self believe that it really could happen any day now, because China approved us, and I could use a little miracle.
The flip side of this is knowing that my baby girl who ever she ends up being, is not spending her time with me. No one can seem to give me a good answer as to why the special needs line up generally has older children, but she will wait longer for her family for whatever reason.
So things are just tinged with a bit of sadness. It is kind of like I have my baby in a day care that I don’t like, and I can’t get her transferred. I just sit with an unease that never really leaves me, because I know I am apart from my baby girl. Things remind me of her all day every day. One could say I am a bit obsessive. I just don’t know how to not care. I don’t know how to find comfort, not now. Now I know she is in this world, and she is not with me. I can swear I can feel her tugging at me, I can feel her needing me.
Maybe it is just the feeling of me needing her.
The other part of the wait that is driving me batty is the inability to plan anything or control anything. We have no idea when the call could come, sure some months are more likely than others, but really again it could be any day. I would like to plan a vacation. I would like to know how many Halloween outfits to plan (see there I am again fooling myself into thinking that would even be possible). You get the idea though, we are living in limbo. The lack of “due date” for this baby can really aggravate a planner like me.
I would also like to not have to count each penny. Saving and sacrificing for her has been easier than I thought it would be for this shopaholic. Really when you look at it very few things become worth it to me, my daughter wins my pennies hands down every time. But I still would like to be able to do fun things again. Some times when we do spend money to do something special as a family, if it does not end up being the perfect experience, I regret having used Elora’s money on it.
I wish I could start her nursery, or some other type of nesting. It would just help me to feel like I was moving forward instead of remaining in limbo. I am saving all these things until we get the referral though because I am so sure that those 4 months we will wait to travel need to be packed full of nesting to the extreme if I am ever going to survive those months. I know that people are going to have to chain me down to avoid me flying to China on my own and setting up a tent in front of her orphanage. The other thing I am counting on to keep me grounded is how much I am going to miss Squeaker while we are traveling.
Oh Squeaker, we are heading into the terrible twos with him already, we have hourly temper tantrums. Any chance they will have passed by the time Elora comes home? How long do they really last? I wonder what the wait will mean for him as well. As each month passes he is older and more able to understand the concept of a sister. But this may not work in our favor as each month passes he is also more accustomed to being the only child and only grandchild. This is a great experience though, watching my “normally developing child” struggle, fight and test us. I am very grateful that I am entering into this adoption as an “experienced” parent. It was not in my original plan, but I am very glad it has worked out that way.
I know one day the wait will seem distant and doable and “worth it”. That is what they tell me. I know that I have it easier than most. I have my boy to brighten each day. But I never knew I could love her so much already. I think that is an important part of this process, I am so in love with her, I have all this time to build up my love, so that I can just swallow all her hurt, I can let all of her deflecting bounce off of my love, a love that is already so secure for her. I am bonded to her deeply, so we can just work with her helping her to find a connection with us.