1:40 PM

Dear Thailand please don't break my heart

Okay the last time I titled my blog that way, every thing worked out. So I am just trying to keep it together here and not freak out.
Here is the update:
Got word from Children's Bridge this afternoon that TRC is planning not to approve the file of another family who is not medically infertile. They are requesting medical proof of infertility. This of course will impact us and they will deny our petition to adopt.
I am reeling with this sudden change, they will not grandfather us in. Our only hope is that we can get a letter from our doctor stating that it is medicaly not advisable for me to be pregnant again. Even this may not be enough to meet the requirements and we may still be rejected. Our agency reports that this is only the TRC that is imposing these guidelines but she suspects the DSDW will follow suit.
It really hurts to have gone all this way only to be rejected now. What hurts the most is the rejection will come because of a parenting itentity I am most proud of, I will be denied because I am a preferential adopter.
I never believed that my choice could possibly prevent another parent their own chance to have a child. I know this is a fear other parents express and it just did not seem valid to me, it's not like there are a finite number of children who need homes, a number that will one day run out. But it seems Thailand agrees they are more worthy of a child then we are, and I wish to whole hardheartedly disagree.
But I do not get a chance to plead my case or show my worth, that hurts the most, that I will not be seen as a valid (enough) parent for the daughter I already love.
I have been reassured that we can change programs, but I refuse to do so until all options are exhausted and we hit the wall.
Dear Thailand, it is your daughter I promised to love for as long as I shall live. It is your daughter who is in my dreams and in my heart. Thailand I do not just want any baby, we pledged to raise your baby girl and I don't want another, not even if she comes from my own flesh because I love her, my Thai daughter. Shouldn't that count for something?

1 comments:

Gem said...

wow seriously! gosh, I know that there are a lot of files over there at the moment, but surprised that this would be the method they are choosing to restrict the number of applicants , I have heard previously that DSDW says childless (not meaning infertile) couples may be matched quicker, but that hasnt been evidenced in Austrlian files to date. In aus our adoptions are directly via DSDW no other agencies, and this year they have not accepted any new files from anyone whilst they catch up. I believe it is a purely admin issue where they can not keep on top of the files, and so taking time to do this. I would hope there is some appeal process to TRC, as like you say this isnt a DSDW restriction, are there any other agencies other than TRC that your country can go through? DSDW prides itself on finding the right families for their children, and from those I have met they come from all manner of backgrounds and makeups.