I am in the VERY preliminary stages of my reading on attachment parenting an adopted child. I must say the first thing I have read over and over is that parenting an adopted child is NOTHING like parenting a bio child. Regardless of this fact, I can not help but compare the things I am reading to my own child. My son is about the age now that Elora will be when she comes home for the first time so I have a real life comparison to the development and temperament of a 6-12 month baby.
Just to preface this conversation, I will say that my husband and I are about the most laid back parents I know. Although I read all the baby development books while pregnant, I have not picked them up since, and do not like "charting" my son. I avoid the conversations at play dates or the park that begin with "has he (fill in the blank) yet?", seriously, I just walk away as if I did not hear them ask.
I am an advocate of exploration and have allowed my son to eat grass, dirt, leather in all forms and 3 price tags (so far). I do try to avoid the price tag consumption though mainly because of the awkward conversation at the check out and the need to wait for a price check. I just feel that he is at the stage where the mouth is a great learning and exploration tool, so why not let him put unconventional things in there. This is just a good example of how laiser-fair we are about parenting, I once heard it described as "baby lead" parenting. Good name for it. I did not stress tummy time, I hate "educational" toys - they are all too loud and I did not jump up every time he made a peep. He is a very happy well adjusted baby and is very physically strong. He frustrates easily, is very empathetic and sensitive, is a perfectionist already and very verbal.
According to the books I read, my son is not attached. He will not maintain eye contact, he will not let me cuddle him (any more), he will not let me massage him, he will not let me feed him (any more) he is frightened of other babies who cry and toys that are battery operated and blink and talk at him, but he never had stranger anxiety and loves to put on a show in grocery store check out lines, pulls out every trick he has and gets a lot of attention from the ladies, he is a supreme flirt. He is so independent and has wanted to have as much independence as physically possible since he was new born. I foster this in him but mostly since it was always evident that this was his nature, not because I was following some sort of parenting mantra, just because that is what he wanted so I helped him learn how to do it him self just to ease his frustrations when he could not accomplish it with out help.
Watching my happy healthy son display these "attachment warning signs" has given me some perspective I hope to use for parenting my next child. Children are ingrained with a lot of personality and behaviour that you can not really change. I am sure that if my son was adopted and I was a first time parent reading these books I would have had him in therapy by now. And with adoption I guess it is always better to be safe then sorry but still I think that I will take the attachment reading with a grain of salt and remember these days with my son and the "normal" things he did, that any child this age could do. I hope I can use baby lead parenting with Elora as well. I can credit my reading in attachment issues as a great resource to be on the look out for clues on how to interpret what Elora needs. I am sure she will lead me on a completely different path. That she will challenge me to be creative and teach me to never say never, but I will try to remember that it is her path I will follow and not a chart of expectations.
* I do reserve the right to completely eat my words when the time comes to put this theory into play. :)
A blog to chronicle our China adoption journey.
About Me

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Sylvia Eng
Hi I am Sylvia!
I was inspired to learn the art photography when I adopted my second child. She has albinism and is very photo-phobic. My point and shoot flash was hurting her eyes and I was missing out on precious memories because I needed specialized skills and equipment to capture her in photos. Because of her my style has developed to photograph completely flash free. My children were my inspiration to learn this craft so I named my business after them (Squeaker and Yoyo are their nicknames).
Although this is a newer artistic medium for me, I have studied visual arts my whole life and graduated with a degree in digital media. Before that I was a fashion model, so images and photography have always been a passion of mine.
I know what it is like to be on both sides of the lens. My goal as your photographer is to use my experience as a model to coach you though the shoot to ensure you look your very best. I consider the style I provide to be an art form, taking your image and adding a touch of digital magic. Sprinkling your images with creativity, imagination and just a tiny bit of faerie dust. The result is always a relaxed and beautiful experience.
I photograph in the greater Toronto area, including Mississauga, Brampton, Milton, Oakville, Orangeville, Acton, Georgetown and Caledon. I look forward to working with you. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

Our Adoption Timeline
June 20th 2010 - Children's Bridge offers us a spot on 2010 quota. We accept. Paper chase begins.
August 18th 2010 - Submit more medical forms to contest the requirement for "medically infertile", wait for pre-approval.
September 3rd 2010 - pre-approval denied, journey with Thailand ends
Change Agencies, sign up with FOI
Edit and complete homestudy for China Waiting Child program
January 6th 2011 Submit homestudy to Ontario for approval
February 18th 2011 - Ontario approval
March 8th 2011 - China Dossier to FOI
March 28th 2011 - Dossier to China (DTC Baby!!!)
April 14th 2011 - Log In Date (LID = Approved by China)
November 28th 2011 - Match Day
November 30th 2011 - LOI + waiver from Ontario (LOI = Letter of Intent)
December 5th 2011 - Pre Approval from China for QingYou
December 24th 2011- LOA (LSC)
March 1st 2012 - Depart for China
March 5th 2012 - TA
March 5th 2012 - Forever Family Day
March 15th 2012 - Home!

Favorite Links
My Blog List
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Still here8 years ago
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There’s hope.. there is always hope9 years ago
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Korean Film Festival9 years ago
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Possible way to descirbe ADD with Anxiety10 years ago
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